I struggled today. I was using the Nifty 50 lens and having a go at back button focusing… but it was windy today and I just could not get it to focus properly…. but it was amazing when I looked through the lens to see how much has changed in the last week or so… the leaves have grown more, the bluebells nearly over, the ferns have uncurled. I was not sure whether this one’s aperture was too shallow?
But when I tried a higher aperture I preferred the blurry background in the above shot.
There are still bluebells to be found and with today’s cloudy skies they still look lovely.
I just liked the contrast between the delicate flowers and the dark rough bark.
More Bluebells, this time down by the river.
The uncurling ferns
I wrote this and then I read an article that I just have to share:
“I did not go to a formal photography school. In fact, I didn’t even study photography. I studied people and art, but the only true darkroom I have ever been in was when I wandered into my Grandfather’s in the basement once before, being knocked over by the chemical smell and never making that mistake again. I didn’t take pictures for my high school yearbook. I’ve never worked for a college newspaper. I don’t carry my camera with me everywhere (it’s heavy and really gets in the way). All of that said and when someone asks me what I do for a living, I say, “I’m a photographer.”
Your can read more here. I struggle with this… I wish I could learn to value what I do more… I take great photos of people’s Bed and Breakfasts, I take lovely photos of babies, I want to take more photos of children, I love taking photos of our natural world and I want to make money from photgraphy … but I struggle with the value of my work.
I ran 10k at the weekend … I want to improve but to get a personal trainer to make me exercise is £35 an hour and I gotta do the work … yet people don’t value my photos, won’t pay that for a couple of hours photo shoot (let alone more) that would improve their business. I lack confidence in saying my pictures can make you feel good or your business look amazing… yet a personal trainer can’t make me faster, fitter and more amazing in an hour… so what is my value?
Yet … I am a mum to three amazing teens, I have fought to get the best education I can for one of them, I was a guider, then a Beaver Scout Leader, then the district Beaver Leader and ran events for over 250 6-8 year olds, I have always run my own business …. yet if I say I work from home that is not value added…. despite that fact I have continued my learning – got 2 level 4 qualifications both with distinction and in different fields, and am currently involved in running three businesses.
I think this photo blog is helping me to think about the value of me… I am learning about my likes, dislikes, talents and interests … somedays I feel I am sharing my soul … others I am amazed at just how much I have now learnt about photography …. but I do wish someone would tell me what I am worth.